I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
