i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize