thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
