exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
