omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
