am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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