dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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