what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
