I love black thongs
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
