that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
