we're blogging at a bar
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
