My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
