So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
