They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
