Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
