i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
