In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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