I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
