she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
