Say something about gay babies.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
