we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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