i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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