I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize