great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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