I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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