why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize