And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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