Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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