I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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