No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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