ya dads aren't the best wingmen
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
zippers are such a cool invention
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Found the puke drawer
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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