What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
