your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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