Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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