do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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