I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
