I hope mine doesn't look like that
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize