You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
