Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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