is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize