hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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