Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
