i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
