I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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