It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
