It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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