Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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