Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
