I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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