Don't you send me to vm
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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