Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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