Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize