Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
