When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
