It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize