The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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