Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
