I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize