Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
