i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
