I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i love accidental penises.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
