yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
