i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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