We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
