I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
