My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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