Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
