wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
